I anxiously await the burst that will surely stain my face with salt, but maybe tears can run out. My body feels numb to anything other than this seething fury. I am determined to release this anger, but where can it go? It will be a box under your bed no matter where you sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see nothing but what I imagine happened that night. You a) unzipped her pants b) kissed her neck c) grabbed her breasts d) you know the rest. I have wasted enough on you, my heart, dignity, sleep, love, virginity. Now I can rise up. We were two kids pretending to fit the wrong puzzle pieces, the ones we hoped would make the picture in the end.
I will try and remember the days that seem so long ago, the days I know years can’t erase. But by then they will be buried, with dust or whatever fades recollections beneath the layers of my future. I feel the salty streams flow from my blurry eyes. About time. I don’t like this feeling, but I guess it’s better. In time I will have so much love someone will need it.
Brittany
