When you are 21, you spend your time looking for the one being that can fill the gaping hole in your gut. It’s the pitch black void that you had been filling with the lame shit of your youth, but it’s not until you come of age, that you realize it can be temporarily filled with the presence of another. I met David in Santa Cruz that year. He was a 42 year old professor from the East Coast, who spent his time cycling, drinking, and writing his memoirs in Boston. When I met him, he wore a Vietnam memorial bracelet; It wasn’t until we watched Harold and Maude that I realized it’s objective was to conceal the wrist scars from his last attempt. I spent the next 3 years seeking the words that would communicate how beautiful life was….Tibetan monks, Vatican priests, and poets all gave me their suggestions and I relayed them faithfully.

I had never spoken to his roommate Trina, but I knew I never wanted to hear her voice. It was 5:38 a.m, August 26th, 1991, when she finally called.

“Is this Allen?” came her rasp, “This is Trina”.

And that was it….it was simply and utterly over.

Allen

“Yo se de tu Tristeza” and “Viejo Amor”…

These were the titles on two pieces of sheet music from the 20’s that I picked up in San Telmo.

I came back inspired to dance. Little did I know that these seemingly innocuous words were to foreshadow events in my own life.

I met Henry while taking tango classes with a friend. He was the instructor…smooth on his feet.

At times we could become one while dancing. My thoughts suspended as I glided. I moved, feeling only with my heart and his gentle touch.

We became a couple. We talked of marriage, children, buying a house.

But I could never let up my guard completely when we were off of the dance floor.

You see, Henry was smooth with words, too. He could dance around the truth.

Henry is now indeed an “old love”. As my greatest teacher so far, he taught me that “knowing MY sadness” is a path to knowing my joy.

The tango is calling me again.

Carla

The First Step To Tangoing Away A Broken Heart

By David Steinberg
Journal Staff Writer

“Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home” by Maria Finn
Algonquin, $13.95, 223 pp.
Maria Finn met her Cuban ex-husband through salsa dancing. They married, and after 18 months their marriage fizzled.

Tango dancing helped her get over the emotional distress.

Finn’s new book is about their withering relationship and how tango — the accentuated moves in the dancing, the boiling passion of the music — helped her find a new life as a single woman.

She and her then-husband had planned to attend a friend’s wedding in Uruguay and then visit Argentina. Separated from him, Finn decided to attend the wedding with girlfriends.
Before she left, Finn checked out tango dancing.

“I felt terrible at that time. I didn’t know how bad you feel about the breakup. … It affected me physically. I couldn’t digest food,” she recalled.

“I was thinking about tango lessons, but the first time was when a friend showed me the tango embrace. You’re chest-to-chest. You feel the other person’s heartbeat. You feel all the good intentions of the heart. The music was so perfect.

“Tango is all about innocence lost and heartbreak. I knew I needed it. It was the only time I didn’t feel bad,” Finn added.

In researching the tango for her book, she said she learned that chemicals such as seratonin and endorphins are stimulated when you dance. That seemed to be part of her healing.

“To be dancing and feel this pleasure and happiness from it is wonderful,” Finn said. “But it also gives you space to feel sorrow and loss. We don’t often have that space in our society.”
Another benefit was that tango introduced her to a new community, which meant new friends and a new hobby.
There’s a section in the book where she had visited friends in Albuquerque with whom she went two-step dancing. The friends are Matt Cohen, Larry Bob Phillips and Marisa Thompson.

Interestingly, Finn has found joy, again, in salsa dancing. She goes once a week … of course, without her ex-husband.
• • •
Here is more information related to Finn and the book:
The author’s Web site is www.mariafinn.com.
Finn has created a “Heartbreak Competition” at http://tangomehome.com/heartbreak- competition/. And see an author video at http://tangomehome.com/videos/.
Maria Finn discusses “Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home” at 7 p.m. Tuesday, March 2, at Bookworks, 4022 Rio Grande NW. A tango demonstration is planned. Finn is at Collected Works, 202 Galisteo, Santa Fe at 6 p.m. Thursday, March 4.

Well the Books & Books event in Miami was postponed for a later date, as I got stormed in NYC, but I’m headed there tonight to see friends, and maybe we can get Jennifer Bratt and Ney Melo—one of the world’s most charming, fun and popular tango duo– to still dance a demo at the private party.

On Sunday I’m going to drive through the gorgeous Alligator Alley for an Argentinean Wine Tasting & Book Presentation at the wonderful French Bistro, “Bamboo Café.”

Barbara Hooper, a Naples resident and kindred adventuress in the long and winding road of dancing and romance, came up with the idea. She contacted Lisa Boët, proprietor of the Bamboo Café, and we are gearing up for Sunday celebration of Argentina in Lisa’s wonderful French Bistro.

Along with running a successful, independently owned restaurant, Lisa is also a food writer and we met at a culinary festival in Barbados a few years back. She’s a Francophile, but Moroccan influenced tangines are found on the menu, next to classic French comfort food like cassoulet and coq au vin, as well as locally caught fresh seafood. But this Sunday, Argentina will be represented. As she wrote in her newsletter:

Serendipity was in the air last week.
I learned fellow food writer and author Maria Finn was scheduled to visit South Florida on a book tour for her newly published memoir “Hold Me Tight & Tango Me Home,” (released for sale on Feb. 9th).
Philippe and I had just discovered some delicious Argentinean estate-grown wines by Nieto Senetiner.
Voilá: Our “Talk Tango Tasting” was born!
Maria Finn will make an appearance at Bamboo Café on Sunday, Feb. 28 to “Talk Tango” & sign books while we host an Argentinean wine tasting along with picadas á la Argentina. Won’t you join us this Sunday?
Call 643-6177 or or online: www.BambooCafeFrenchHomeCooking.com.
Warm regards,

Lisa Boët

It all began as a pristine fairy tale like a taste of golden honey drizzled over my wanting lips. I had been longing for a man like him, as desperately as winter waits for the spring. His love brought warmth and comfort that melted my icy white heart into a passionate state of red. One year to the day we met we married and I thanked the stars above for sending such a gift.

Unfortunately bliss was short lived; when reverie turned nightmare and the handsome hero became a villain. I soon discovered he was married to another woman, had a brand new baby with a former lover and was being sued by his previous girlfriend. When caught he said he wanted to repent and be forgiven and return to the religion of his youth, a Jehovah Witness.

I informed him that “The devil made me do it” excuse was as original as sin itself but I didn’t believe in Satan and thanks to him I didn’t believe in Prince Charming anymore either. I kicked him out, obtained an annulment and sold my diamond ring to go to India; where I met a spiritual teacher and fell in love again.

Katie

He told me, our hands clasped, that it was ok to say, “I love you.” So I did, because – astonishingly, heart-beatingly – I did.

Was it the next day? He emailed me, to tell me he’d “happened to kiss another girl.”

“My cell phone is about to die,” he wrote, “but if you would like to call me once you read this, then please do. If you don’t want to talk to me, I understand.”

I don’t remember what I did then, only the heart-stopping moment, the silence in my body. I don’t remember much of the next three years we were together. Is it that I don’t remember, or that I don’t want to?

I am someone else now. Quite happily.
A.M.F.

It Takes Two

Posted by Sally Law

After she discovered that her husband had been unfaithful, Maria Finn threw out his possessions, divorced him, and began considering the next phase of her life. The two had been planning a trip to South America—during their time in Argentina, they were going to take tango lessons—but now Finn, living in New York City, decided to learn tango on her own, fly to Buenos Aires solo, and, in the process, regain her strength.

She picked the right dance. As Finn writes in her book, “Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home,” tango, for all its romantic associations, was created out of tragedy and steeped in loneliness:

The people of Buenos Aires are known as porteños, or people of the ports … immigrants from the Mediterranean, carrying remnants of their homeland up the Rio de la Plata; black slaves from Africa had been shacked and hauled there; and white slaves, mostly women from Eastern Europe, were tricked into moving there—through marriage proposals and offers of a better life—not knowing until too late that they were to be forced into working the brothels to service this huge influx of men.

Sexy, no? Well, no, but once Western Europe got hold of it, tango moved from the wharf to the ballroom and became the craze of the chic set. “By 1913 tango was the favorite pastime of Parisians … at one point, publishers in London blamed poor book sales on tango teas; however, they claimed that poetry sales went up in that same period,” Finn writes. Misery and literature—they’ve always been partners.

In that spirit, Finn is hosting a heartbreak competition—through this Sunday, February 28th, readers can share, in two hundred words or fewer, the grand tragedy of their lives. The contest is judged by Margo Howard, Dean Olsher, and David Nadelberg; the winner will have his or her story arranged as a tango song by Marlan Barry.

The Meat Hook
If you’ve taken a cab ride in NYC lately, you’ve probably seen the feature on some of NYC’s new butcher shop. The “hipster” Williamsburg butcher shop is The Meat Hook, and in honor of Argentina and their love of meat and tango, we are celebrating the publication of “Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home” here tonight.

There will be wonderful, local, organic meats prepared, along with other Argentinean treats, as well as wine by Familia Zuccardi poured.
Address:
100 Frost St. Brooklyn
NY 11211
P 718.349.5032
Link: The Meat Hook

The Dance Lesson, 6:30 PM
Dante “Li’l Hamlet” Polichetti
Dante Polichetti will be teaching a beginner’s tango lesson at the Meat Hook tonight. Dante has left me to write about him, so here’s my version of Dante. Dante’s combination of piercing dry wit, often mislaid intelligence, and melancholy has earned him the nickname “Li’l Hamlet”. (I call him this, and I think I may be the only one who calls him this.) Though tormented at times, he’s also lots of fun, a wonderful tango dancer and teacher, and easy on the eyes, so come on out tonight! (He also teaches at Sandra Cameron’s Dance Studio).

A Brief Interview with Tango DJ Z.h. Peng

How did you start listening to tango music?
I started listening to tango music when I took up tango lessons. I began collecting tango music when I started dancing in the milongas more than three years ago. There were so many different music from various orchestras that I’d not heard before. I wanted to know the music so I could dance better… and I couldn’t stop listening and collecting since.

Why did it become a passion in your life?

I think what drew me to tango the first place was the embrace, the magic of connecting with a woman and the music. It became passion when I started feeling that connection. It was too powerful, it sucked me right in.

Can you tell us some of your djing tips or are they secrets?

I am still learning, listening and experimenting. As a dancer myself, I like to dance to the music that inspires and provokes feeling. When I play music, I try to do the same.

And a word about your new tango finds in Japan?
Just some rare tracks that could only be found at these Japanese release. My friend Royce is more knowledgeable on this. For those who are interested in, here is her blog link: Royce’s Tango Thoughts.

Thanks so much to everyone who came out last night to the NYC Launch of Hold Me Tight and Tango Me Home! (Pictures by Hilary Duffy. Music by ZUM was a huge hit, and dancing by Musa and Zoe inspiring.